The other side of loneliness

When it happens, you don´t see it coming. All of a sudden you find yourself completely alone and not because everyone left but because you are the one who looks for some place and time to stay with yourself and your (mostly confusing) thoughts.It is never easy and most people do not understand this deep need to unplug yourself from everything.

When you close your eyes and feel your loneliness being part of what you are and understanding you need to spend time for yourself, peacefully, without being worried that you should or should not do something for someone who would then simply disappear.

But you and yourself never fade away, the best friend you can have is yourself but it also deeply true that the self can be our best friend and our worst enemy at the same time. The choice is in our hands and we may sometimes take a bigger risk to find out who is our best enemy instead of our worse friend. A good enemy poses everyday a great challenge and indirectly gives us the chance to beat him or to prove to ourselves that our real worse enemy is the fear of failure and of not being enough to prove to ourselves that we are enough, indeed.

The worse friend is and will always be a thorn in our flesh that we will never be able to take out, it will stay there stabbing us in the back while giving us good pieces of advice and telling us how important we are. Directly making us weak. So we will really not be able to react to the stabbing when it comes and will just have to accept the treason as an act of gentleman´s gift. But sometimes being alone will give us just courage and strength to face everything as it is since we will see it as what it really is, without masks or black mirrors where we only see what the world wants us to be. Strong. Weak. Faithful. Incompetent.
But indeed the right distance will light up what we really are and what we expect from ourselves. Albeit the latter is far more complicated than ever. The only right assumption is perhaps that we often have higher expectations about ourselves which do not match with reality, or what we call “reality”.

Thus, what is it all about if not to stay alone with ourselves and discover who we are?
This is what therapies never tell us. That our worst enemy is the ignorance of what we
are, the ghost inside of us.

Life is a long journey towards the knowledge of the self and of our deep rooted
mechanisms which we don´t completely understand until the time comes to face that

It will not be an easy ride and we will probably be defeated but at the end of the day
what counts is what we learned from the fight and what we will keep with us setting on
forward on the path of this life-long journey we call existence.


A thought

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